negative communication and its impact

Kosh Wellness

Ever wondered if parenting came with its own GPS tracker and one could find the right way to carve avenues into children’s hearts. Since it doesn’t, parents have to be their own avant-garde composers.

Parents often delve into impulsive conversations with children, take them for granted and consequently children lose their interest in keeping the communication going. As a result, by the time they reach adolescence, they find their confidante in peers instead of their own parents. The reason is simple, their peers are non judgmental and treat them as reasonable individuals.

A parent’s way of communicating, if at all negative, would unquestionably lead children afar. Impulsively, we oft-times encounter parents indulging in conversations like 'You are a bad boy!' or 'Stop crying like a girl!' or 'Why don't you ever listen to me?'  Now these simple, day to day habits like labelling, criticizing or nagging kids make them question their own identity. Such remarks by their parents result in children forming a negative belief about their own selves.

Constant forcing or pressuring kids to do things our way often lowers their self-esteem & ergo, they grow up to be fickle minded and indecisive adults. On the contrary, when we appreciate their efforts we certainly build strong and earnest leaders. 

Time and again, we also frequently intervene and impose our own pronouncements on children. And it all goes downhill from there. It’s pivotal that we respect their sentiments and be more flexible and adaptive to their thought processes.

Habitually, parents also try to pass sarcastic comments, assuming they're teaching their children a lesson. Insults like, ‘Oh, you really think you did the right thing?’ or ‘So you must be working really hard lying down on the bed?’ All this deeply impacts the children’s emotions and turn them into erratic unruly rebels.

There are times when we also fall into tempting confrontations with our children. Let’s say they want to step out for a late-night party and they lie about the whole situation to you. Now what would you do in this situation? Most likely, you’ll right away confront and condemn them for their actions and it will go worse from there.

Now let’s retrospect! Why did they have to lie at the first place? Did you create the right environment for them to confide in you?

In such situations, introspection works best. Conversations like , ‘I’m sure I can trust you’ or ‘I know you’ll always keep our trust and faith intact.’ Such convos will ensure they never cross a line if they get cajoled into misconduct.

When we make ourselves conscious of our behaviour with our children, that is when we traverse better relationships. When we pay attention to little details, we aim it right. Instead of becoming oblivious to children’s feelings, we definitely should regard them substantial to their cognitive and emotional growth. We should often use phrases like ' Hey, I'm always there for you!' or 'Do you want to share something?' or 'I'm all ears for you.'  Such communication builders strengthen the parent-child bond, carving a child's way to succeed in life.  A flourishing environment for a child only thrives on adaptability acceptability and accessibility.