Twins Parenting

Parenting Tips to Raise Emotionally Strong and Mature Twins

It takes two to tango – and it also takes two to cause twice the trouble. Yes, we are talking about twins. Many pieces of research list the difficulties of motherhood, and when we talk about twins you may as well just multiply the challenges. But, at the same time, there is no denying that as much as your twins can throw a curve ball, they also make you laugh twice as hard and smile twice as often. Your house is usually lively and vibrant, and you know for sure that even on the toughest of days, these little ones are always worth it!

It’s important to remember, though, that your twins are two separate people with their own needs and feelings. Keep reading this blog for some parenting tips on how to raise emotionally strong and mature twins.

Each twin is their own person

Although twins often have a lot in common, it is essential that parents understand that each child is a unique individual. Twins are two separate human beings and should be treated as such from the very beginning. Although their emotional bond to each other is something to be cherished, each child is a unique individual with their own natural drive to fulfill their potential. Just like all siblings, twins will each have different temperaments, needs, desires, and abilities. They might be argumentative with each other, but also provide love & comfort when required. In fact, there may even be some sibling rivalry – presenting a challenge for parents who must care for two minds instead of just one.

Further Reading-

Sibling Relationships

Being two different individuals, twins will also develop different appetites, eating habits, and bowel functions. As they mature their coordination develops at different rates as well. Some parents say that one often walks and talks before the other, while others report that they do everything together.

Parents of twins also report that they soon develop individual preferences – liking one toy or clothing more than another. One twin may prefer to play independently while the other prefers to share toys with others. And, in some cases, one twin is introverted and shy while the other is gregarious and outgoing.

IQ scores for twins tend not to be identical either. Studies have shown a weak correlation between identical twins’ IQ scores. In fact, even though identical twins share their genes, there are often large differences in how they think and how they respond emotionally to situations.

A sibling or a twin playing with each other - Kosh Wellness

The most difficult part of raising twins is handling their emotions, which can make parents feel drained and exhausted mentally. How do you make both of them feel okay, feel wanted, and feel accepted, especially when both are unique personalities?

Here are a few tips for raising emotionally healthy twins:

  • It is essential that you let both twins know that you view them as equals and say it while they are both present. Receiving first-hand information from their parents impacts them positively and gives them assurance that they are being treated equally. Avoid favoritism at any cost! Favoritism includes more privileges and less discipline for 1 child and it often happens unknowingly; hence parents have to be extra cautious of this aspect.
  • It’s crucial that you avoid singling out one child in front of others, even if you’re simply sharing an accomplishment. If you’re excited about something one of your twins has done, make sure you have something positive to say about the other as well. It will pass on the appreciation without inducing feelings of jealousy or biases.
  • When teaching a skill, it is important to consider if both children are enjoying the task. If one does not enjoy the skill, do not force them to continue. Instead, appreciate them for their willingness to try new things and ask them what they would love to do instead.
  • While some healthy competition between siblings is normal, be careful that it doesn’t escalate into a full-blown race. Let the twins know that it’s okay if one excels while the other doesn’t and assure them that they’re both winners in your eyes.
  • Do not presume that both children can do everything the same just because they are twins. They likely have different strengths and areas of improvement. Failing to recognize this could lead one of them to feel like they constantly disappoint you.
  • Usually with twins, parents receive one set of toys and teach them to share. While sharing is a beautiful virtue, twins need a sense of identity, which can be achieved by getting them a few things that belong to each individual. This will also help parents to understand their individual personality traits, such as how they take care of their things and whether they are careful or messy in using their belongings. This information can be used to help twins work on their individual strengths or weaknesses.
Image of two toddlers who are a twin - Kosh Wellness

Taking a few small steps to avoid complications can make a world of difference for twins. By making sure they feel loved and wanted as individuals, you’re giving them the room they need to grow and thrive. Having twins is a double blessing, and with just a few smaller steps you can avoid the complication of it being double trouble.

Need individual guidance on raising twins? Kosh Wellness offers personalized parenting education programs along with online parenting workshops, webinars, corporate workshops, and more.

Avail a 1:1 Personalized Counseling Session with our parenting experts today!